That was much better.

On DRFC’s Annual David Judd Day;

·         Jim and Ted unveiled the revised plans for the Clubhouse redevelopment and launched the final fundraising push;

·         Our very own John Douglas spoke passionately and openly of the comings and goings in the Twickenham soap opera and provided some rather more balanced and insightful views away from the hulaballoo of the media firestorm;

·         Colin Troughton was elected as the Youth representative on the old fart- free DRFC Board of Directors;

·         Sir Michael stood down after exemplary leadership as Charity Chairman and became the latest member since Gareth Edwards in the exclusive club of trying to figure out what the feck to do with a three foot aluminium cockerel;

·         The Twos beat Old Reigatians about 41 -32; and

·         Best of all the first fifteen returned to fine form with a cracking bonus point victory over the much fancied Juddians of Tonbridge.

There was still a tangible feel good factor around the Club following the World Cup Dinner last week. With apologies made where apparently required and with the final few hours of the event pieced back  together with some input from Sallyann and the girls, thoughts turned to the arrival of TJ, the Manchester City of National 3 London. It had been as bad a few weeks as we’ve had since Saus had that run at stand off a few seasons back, so this was going to be tough and tense.

Ben Lucas appeared in the team sheet in the back row with Armand moving into the second row with Qin. We had a first home field look at marquee recruit Steve Munford after his move from Sutton & Epsom and James Faulkener looked a prospect in the centre arriving from Doncaster (or was it Scunthorpe?) alongside Alrich back from Cape Town.

TJ certainly looked the part with Mase Leulunnui and 3 or 4 other identikit big furniture in the pack and some lively looking runners in the back division particularly the wonderfully named Thor Normann at fifteen.

And it was the TJ backs who started marginally the more spritely with skipper Charlie (Mike?) Harding making inroads resulting in an opening penalty goal for Dan Rothnie. It was pretty nip and tuck as Matt started to move it around and made good use of a fairly strong breeze towards Brockham. With Jesus prominent, we also started to disrupt TJ’s otherwise solid looking scrum drawing a penalty from Mr Wish. Qin took a quick tap finding the defence on the back foot. Tommy Bristow picked it up and ‘Arri worked it wide to Terrors to touch down for a quality score. In contrast to Canterbury’s more route one approach, TJs also mixed it up nicely and it was turning into a really entertaining game between two top teams playing high quality rugby. TJ lock Rankin had a mighty rumble and only a last gasp try saver from Harry Watts kept Lee Campion from crossing. James boshed it up the middle a couple of times and Tom Bristow pulled off a great steal and eventually Dorking absorbed a period of pretty significant pressure without conceding any further damage. The half finished with us on the front foot with Ryan, Kempy and Alrich combining nicely. James Faulkener was a real handful for the Tonbridge defence and Steve Munford showed clearly he has the class as well as the desire to play at this and higher levels. With the clock counting down, Harry threatened from a pick up from the base. Mr Wish spotted an infringement and brought a great half of rugby to a close with a slender two points between the two teams.

It was clear that playing better quality opposition was helping us return to familiar form and the second half firmly belonged to Dorking. Harry again started the half strongly and Matt started to dance through the big TJ defenders. Ryan and Terrors were unlucky to be pulled for a forward pass. Ian White started to win the battle of the back row and Matt profited with a penalty goal to move us eight three ahead. The game was however to turn in an instrumental five minute passage of play, when, in the interest of post Leverson Inquiry transparency, your match correspondent was in the bar. According to Ian Steel therefore, Ryan used his trademark hand off to fend and find space and with a step created broken field for Matt who mesmerised the previously solid defence for a fantastic solo effort from half way; for what Lord Judd of Twitter described as one of the best tries witnessed at DRFC. Indicative of the talent of one on the top of his game, The Chosen One proceeded to bang the conversion over from the touchline. The momentum shift to Dorking continued when from the restart, TJ’s number 8 Thomas Nabbs was given a yellow card for a dangerous ‘no arms’ challenge and Juddians visit to Brockham got a whole lot harder. The man advantage was to be TJs undoing as we went on to put the game out of sight. Qin had a strong carry, Matt threw out a huge pass off his right hand, Alrich collected drew the defender and Kempy skipped over. By now as expected, Matt hammered over the extras this time from the other touchline. To complete this particularly purple patch ‘Arri led a driving maul that had TJ going backwards up the hill from where Ryan showed his own personal return to form for the fourth try of the afternoon. And guess what?  Mattt smacked the conversion to take the tally to 29 – 3. With pretty much the last act of a belting game, we think Richie Nauer outpaced Harry for the proverbial consolation score by the car park. It had been Dorking’s day.

Director of Rugby Richie Andrews was ecstatic; “That was probably the most satisfying performance since I've been with the Club. It is certainly up there with the wins over Richmond and Esher. We had not been in the best of form for the last couple of games as everyone knows. So as a team we worked hard on the areas that were not going well and as a result ended up comfortably beating a very good side with an outstanding team display. Every player that pulled the shirt on gave 110%. Now we have to maintain that form. Maybe we should have a World Cup Dinner every week”

TJs match report here

Man of the Match: Alrich Muller

Dorking Squad: Tom Bristow (The Bristow Family), James Catton (The Cooper Family), Ben Knight (Julian Bambridge) Harry Watts ( Abacab Dorking Taxis)  Armand Roux (The Running Horses, Mickleham), Qin Wiseman (St John’s Leatherhead)  Ian White (Russell James Recruitment),  Ben Lucas (Mick Williams) Steve Munford ( Duraloc Limited), Matt Noble (The Running Horses Mickelham) Alrich Muller (Mistral Recruitment Solutions) James Faulkener ( The Running Horses Mickelham)  Mike Terelak (The Falkland Four), Richard Kemp (Roger Parkin) Ryan Jeffrey (Space Change Management) Ed Gardner (Stoneset Limited) John Greenwell (Sponsorship Available) Harri Smith (Sponsorship Available)

Why Delilah indeed. Poor old Spenno as you’ve probably heard, suffered – the squeamish should look away now - a partial dislocation and fracture of his hip socket as our reigning leek eating record holder landed awkwardly in the tackle against his fellow Welsh dwellers of  National 3 up at Ampthill and has  spent the last week and a bit awaiting surgery. “I am feeling a bit gutted, as it goes” Spencer tweeted from St George’s up at Tooting “I’d just got my head round Alain Rolland’s betrayal and you know in rugby everyone accepts injuries are part of the game. Then I was lying here listening to Radio Jackie and someone just blurted out that Westlife had split up. Sometimes you do wonder if there is a God whatever Richie has to say” There was encouragement for Spencer from Dorking President Ted Ivens; “ I’ve had both my hips done up at St George’s and come to think of it I have a feeling that  they did Chris Kane’s knees, one of them anyway. I was back playing Bridge within the week”.

There were more than a few further  distressed  hip joints at a sell out pre match lunch when table topping Canterbury arrived in Brockham on another beautiful afternoon at the weekend as Alan O’Hea organised a reunion of many VP members including Alan Clatworthy making the journey up from Itchenor for this must see first versus second clash. Canterbury President Dicky Ovenden amazingly turned out to share a birth date with Ted (12th March 1939 when Hitler was heading for Poland  and Paddy for Holyhead) and a new lease of life with  a completely new audience for his lunchtime speech repertiore; one of the few demotion dividends since Canterbury had been relegated, of which more later.

Ed Gardner initially replaced Spenno in the match programme only to himself fall to the curse of the number fifteen jersey with temperamental hamstrings seeing the welcome return of Richard Kemp to first fifteen colours in front of a big crowd; about four hundred according to Dorking Ad Lee who knows about these things. Ryan Jeffrey had come back from Leeds to join Lovey in the centre and Greg Bateman was once again in the soft seats after his TV appearance for Welsh on Sky the previous evening. Canterbury arrived with Tiggers’ nephew Tom starting at hooker as yet another Rogers graced the Big Field.

 And as you’d have expected Canterbury turned out to be pretty good. The Canterbury forwards put a stranglehold on the ball that we just couldn’t break out of and their backs were no mugs either running neat lines off Tom Best who put pace on it all afternoon. We had our moments for sure, but mostly from deep and adventurous as we were, Canterbury were well organised and held firm where lesser teams would have struggled.

The tone was sort of set straight away with the familiar early scare as Canterbury announced their arrival with a searing break up the middle. Harry put in a big hit on their big 3 and Terrors cleared the first onslaught. Mr Haskins then turned the pressure into a penalty and Best got on the scoreboard with a straightforward penalty. We started to play our patterns and worked it up the right where Kempy looked to have created a two- on- one to put Terrors over only for the defender to get a hand to it which Mr Haskins adjudicated not to have been deliberate and a defensive scrum rather than penalty try and probably a card. Our disappointment was short-lived. Matt picked out Lovey in the inside left channel who battered his way over with a series of jabbing hand offs as he repelled at least three would be tacklers. Matt converted. Having weathered Canterbury’s storming start, what we needed was a period of possession and consolidation. What we got was the complete opposite. Canterbury produced some dazzling interplay between Baars, Micans and Del Val teeing up Mackintosh on the right wing to fly over. Best failed to add the extras but Canterbury were back in front. For us Matt was at the centre of Dorking’s effort first narrowly failed to find Terrors with a cross kick towards the St Johns’ van and then putting in a try saving tackle on the other side of the paddock in pretty quick succession. Will Crow was also pugnacious and prominent without ever finding the break to get a better return on his investment. Mr Haskins was again the centre of attention sending Matt Higgins to the cooler just before half time which to be fair didn’t seem to be strongly contested – and which hardly made our challenges in securing front foot possession easier. Canterbury smelt blood and had a period of sustained pressure on the Kiln Lane line. But they met some really strong defence from Qin and Tom going toe to toe with the league leader’s pack. Jesus, James and Ian also stayed  big and made it to the half time hooter with the line intact much to Canterbury’s frustration which led to a bout of argy bargy as the players headed for the tunnel.

Why some men like their dogs more than their partners was the issue of the day our visiting dignitaries asked the politically sensitive Dorking members over lunch. Potential explanations included because (a) a dog’s parents never call round (b) a dog is more likely to find you amusing when you are drunk and (c) try locking them both in the garage for an hour and see which one is more pleased to see you when you let them out. They must really miss this in National 2 South.

During half time Dorking Rugby Club released an announcement confirming the World Cup Wonders Gala Dinner will now take place on Friday 25 November. Confirmed for the evening are Welsh legend Gareth Edwards, Scotland’s Dave Hilton, Ireland’s Mark Blair and Rob Henderson, Ben Sturnam  from England, and house favourite..........of course the legend that is New Zealand’s Zinzan Brook. Tickets £35 from Spreckers or Kevin Beal. Tables of 8 or 10. Get it in your diary NOW.

We were first back out on the park with a sense that Richie would have had some clear views to share during the interval and Ian White took the kick off superbly. Kempy who had a terrific game repeatedly made time for himself first to give Ryan Lucas and then Lovey a run. Harry continued to buzz about as Will continued to press and probe. But the expected gaps in the Canterbury defensive line didn’t materialise and what ball we did manage to get hold of was fairly deep down our end. Full marks for our adventure though and we certainly gave it a lash. Doing so repeatedly from our own 22 was however always going to be a high risk high reward strategy and when ‘Arri’s Sonny Bill Williams pass out of the back door went to ground centre Michael Melford had a simple run in to stretch the Canterbury advantage. Best again missed the extras. We now really went for broke for the single score that remained between the teams. Nick Marlow replaced James and Marshy came on for Ryan Jeffrey who was clearly struggling with a crocked shoulder. Will took a quick tap and almost released Matt. Kemp continued to pose problems and we put in a couple of terrific scrums which visiting number 8 Wimms Baars dealt with brilliantly. Hard as we tried the offer of a further penalty shot to all intents and purposes put the game beyond us as Best converted lengthening the lead to two scores. With the game pretty much up there was still time for one final piece of theatre. Matt popped it up for Armand to find Ryan Lucas in a threatening position only to be stopped illegally between the twenty two and half way about around the flag pole. With the clock running down Roux signalled for the posts and Nobes nervelessly nudged it over to at least salvage a bonus point for our efforts.

Director of Rugby Richie Andrews said: “Canterbury were a well organised team and  deserved their win. That said I do feel that we let them in for a couple of soft tries. We certainly feel that we can reverse the result in the return fixture. After two losses in successive weeks, it is going to be really important we get back to winning ways next week.” 

Man of the Match: Ben Knight (Julian Bambridge) 

Dorking Squad: Tom Bristow (The Bristow Family), James Catton (The Cooper Family), Ben Knight (Julian Bambridge) Harry Watts ( Abacab Dorking Taxis)  Armand Roux (The Running Horses, Mickleham), Matt Higgins (Bob White) Qin Wiseman (St John’s Leatherhead)  Ian White (Russell James Recruitment),  Will Crow (The Running Horses, Mickelham), Matt Noble (The Running Horses Mickelham) Simon Love (International Sports Marketing) Ryan Jeffrey (Space Change Management) Ryan Lucas (Barber One Dorking) Mike Terelak (The Falkland Four), Richard Kemp (Roger Parkin) Ed Marsh (Dorking Tool Hire) Will Kruis ( University of Durham) Nick Marlow (Sponsorship Available)